Three Nice Things

One of the positive (and most productive) methods we came up with when our kids were caught arguing or fighting, was to say three nice things to each other. Doing that seemed to break the anger emotion. However they felt about each other at the moment didn't matter, we parents wouldn't listen to “sides” until each of them had fulfilled this little obligation. It was a family rule. We called it “putting on the face.”

To do this, they had to pretend to like their brother or sister, and say three nice things about them before reporting anything negative. By the time they got through, most of the fight was gone and the disagreement had been deflated to a more manageable size. I think the important ingredient in doing that was not trying so hard to solve a particular problem, but requiring that it be dealt with at a less emotional time.

Which is just about how long it takes to think up three nice things about someone.